Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
