for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
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Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
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I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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