just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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