he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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