If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just found puke in my bra..
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
