drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
