it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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