been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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