Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
