wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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