Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Four minutes until I can fart!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
