so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
