Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
