ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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