Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
