he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
