I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
