I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
