Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
