IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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