I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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