Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Two words: nipple clamps
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