While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
