I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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