id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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