do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
