you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
