okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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