his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
