I feel like I'm in dance class right now
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
