'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize