I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize