we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
