Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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