This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize