I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Randomize
