he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize