Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
