But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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