You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
