We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
