Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
