OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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