The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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