okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
