I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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