If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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