he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
