I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
