It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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