That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
