You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize