is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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