I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
