ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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