no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize