Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize