Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
