i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
