Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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