He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
